Just Remember

It was all better before you were born

Is Steve Wozniak My Hero?

THA WOZ is riding around on Segways and doing local car ads that seriously bite Auto Connection's shit.

Can someone from VH1 or Bravo please, please convince him to do an Eccentric Rich Boomer reality show with Richard Branson? Would it really take that much convincing? Wozniak already did Dancing With the Stars and Branson is no stranger to MTV, seeing as how he showed us his island that he rents out to Mariah on Cribs. This seems like the next logical step. And you KNOW that together they could figure out how to fly to the moon and make it affordable for at least the lower rungs of the super rich; this would of course be a reality show in itself. Nicole Richie and the son of the Executive Vice President of Brookstone dealing with the effects of zero gravity and a liquid diet? S'il vous plait!

Make that check out to cash if you could, Brian Graden.

Ernie Pyle

This man was awesome

Immediately above the fires the sky was red and angry, and overhead, making a ceiling in the vast heavens, there was a cloud of smoke all in pink. Up in that pink shrouding there were tiny, brilliant specks of flashing light – anti-aircraft shells bursting. After the flash you could hear the sound.

Up there, too, the barrage balloons were standing out as clearly as if it were daytime, but now they were pink instead of silver. And now and then through a hole in that pink shroud there twinkled incongruously a permanent, genuine star – the old-fashioned kind that has always been there.

Ordinary Hood Shit

Today I saw a toddler walk face-first into a glass window. His mother crouched down to pick him up, attempting to comfort the child while at the same time not letting him see that she was laughing.

"Is he okay?" I asked.

"This has really never happened before," she responded.

His older brother, who was not too far advanced from toddlerhood himself, looked me straight in the eye and flashed me a knowing smile.

July 4:

NJ

My family vacations here sometimes

Weekend Movie Spotlight!

Street Dreams is finally out; you can catch a sneak preview here.

The brief YouTube clip begins in a somber, almost elegiac tone that suggests impending tragedy. For my money, I'd bet on Paul Rodriguez being cast in the Morris Chestnut archetype of the promising young'un cut down before he has the chance to really show his potential. Ryan Sheckler will clearly play the Ice Cube role. A few other things:

- "I thought you got popped!"
- Being a true skater means making fun of the filmer who almost got busted by the cops alongside you because he is a nerd.
-"Aw shit D, look like he talkin bout yo moms man"

A Journey Into Darkness: Liveblogging the June 11, 2009 episode of Jeopardy!

7:27 PM: Unlike ordinary sprays, Comet Gel sticks to mildew.

7:28 PM: Pat and Vanna make some imaginary small talk. I wonder if they ever Facebook chat?

7:29 PM: This Domino's commercial is making me so hungry. Will I make it through an entire episode without a snack?? Oh wait it just started.

7:30 Pm: The contestants look like weirdos, big surprise. There is always someone from the DC area on this show, and today is no exception. Trebek's suit isn't all that great but it could be worse.

7:32 PM: Contestant Kyle looks like he could use a Queer Eye makeover, but I don't think he is a straight guy in the first place. Haha Contestant Beth just said "Deep Throat." This stuff is all pretty boring, it won't get really rolling until Alex talks to the contestants.

7:34 PM: Commercials time; maybe I will go for beer instead of snacks.

7:35 PM: I can't wait to get to know factoids about the contestants, but I know it won't live up to the contestant I saw about six months ago who made up songs to sing to her cat.

7:36 PM: Beth likes to knit.

7:37 PM: Kyle likes to hold little pieces of Darwin in his hand. Actually his story was pretty cool, I'm worried about myself.

7:38 PM: Contestant Jason just crushed a whole category, in much the same manner that I am crushing this beer.

7:40 PM: Kyle's hair and goatee is really 90's, but his waistcoat screams "I'm going to screw up this Daily Double!"

7:43 PM: Nobody is going to pick "The Music of Ballet."

7:45 PM: Alex's supercasual Canadian sweater is by far the highlight of this evening; it's perriwinkle!

7:46 PM: Hey Beth, Carson McCullers wrote The Heart is a Lonely Hunter, not Cormac McCarthy, YOU DUMB BITCH!!

7:47 PM: I bet Kyle loves to do "The Saber Dance."

7:48 PM: God I would love to have a job on the Clue Crew, no matter how many silly hats they made me wear.

7:49 PM: "One-Word Movies" could have easily been renamed "Shitty Movies of 2008."

7:50 PM: Beth is in the lead but I think Jason is going to pull out the win. Too bad, I kind of wanted Kyle to win even though half of all these posts have been for the sole purpose of making fun of his gayness.

7:52 PM: That hip couple will never stop reading the New York Times. They even like the Jayson Blair articles!

7:55: I really don't see why they had to change the Final Jeopardy music. KYLE LOSES.

7:56: Jason has vanquished all foes and is given the honor of finishing out the week with Alex and the Judges. I can now see Kyle's entire wardrobe and it is blowing my mind. Peace Connecticut.