Friday, March 5, 2010

All I Do Is Kill Nazis Of You The Whole Night Thru

Oscar weekend is here, and there are those who believe that Inglorious Basterds is likely to become your 2009 Best Picture recipient. I don't think that this will happen, but I fervently hope that it does.

Basterds was my second-favorite movie of 2009 (after this masterpiece). Here's my third grade book report version of why:

I thought Inglorious Basterds was a good movie because it was really fun and awesome. The main themes were revenge and Nazis. The main Nazi was really scary and the actor playing him was really good. The plot did not make a lot of sense sometimes but that was okay because it was very hilarious and I had a great time at the movies.

Listen, everyone: that is the only appropriate reaction to have after seeing Inglorious Basterds. It defies any trenchant analysis and is pure entertainment. It is an utter mess of a movie, which is quite common, but also a completely and purely entertaining mess in which a famous director follows his various unique obsessions down their respective rabbit holes for no real reason at all and is hugely successful, which is not as common.

To be honest, though, the movie could have been an absolute pile and I would still be rooting for it to win the Oscar, if only to demonstrate that the movie industry is so narrow-minded and bankrupt of all original thought that they will literally hand out an award to anything with a Nazi in it. Hell, they gave one out last year to Kate Winslet for jackbooting up after she and Ricky Gervais mocked the very concept mercilessly.

So at this year's Oscar party, tell your friends to root for the coronation of ludicrousness, and remind them that The Hurt Locker didn't have even one single Mexican standoff.

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